The good news is that we can learn how to step out of and stay out of these ruminative thought cycles. The first step is be mindful (aware), let go. Letting go means reducing your involvement in these routines, freeing yourself from the need for things to be different, as this is precisely what drives the thinking patterns—it is the continued attempts to escape or avoid unpleasant moments that keep the old negative cycles turning. The aim of Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) is freedom, not happiness or relaxation, although these may well be welcome by-products.
Kindness Plays an Essential Role
Ensuring that a general attitude of kindness and care pervades all aspects of your practice is foundational with MBCT. These particular qualities of mind help prevent the reinstatement of old habits of thinking by showing us that it is possible to approach unwanted experiences with a gentle curiosity and, in doing so, develop a different relationship to them. Mindfulness is not just about paying (or shifting) attention but more about the quality of attention that is being paid. See what happens when you practice being kind to your experiences, and gentle with yourself when old habits of mind threaten.